Preparing myself for the “the Biggest Loser” season 9 finale part 1

even if I know who wins

but still!

my life is very exciting, isn’t it

Sifu Kisu said that I am awesome

I HAVE A CUNNING PLAN

I finally figured what to do about Orivesi

I’m gonna send an email to Sampsa today, and ask if my plan works for him

Once I know if he’s okay with it, I will reveal my awesome plan

(if you got the title reference - you are awesome)

I’m having a major headache, so I’ll try to keep this short

as you know, I emailed about my depression and anxiety and all that crap to Sampsa

well he replied to my email yesterday

oh my god just thinking about it makes me cry

“Hi Laura!

Yesterday was a busy day so I couldn’t reply to you sooner.
It’s a good thing that you told about your situation and it’s okay if you want to take some time and think what you should do - don’t take any pressure from us. If you can, and if you want to continue here with us, you can do it later. And if you feel like this has been a too big step for you, or it just doesn’t fit in your life at the moment, I understand completely.

Take your time to think things through and talk to your mother and others and let me know so we’ll know where things are.

Strenght!

Sampsa”

I’M CRY

I still haven’t managed to write him a reply, mainly because everytime I read his email I start to cry.

I haven’t been to school at all this week, and probably won’t go until next monday.

You know, if I have the strenght to do so.

So Niina spent the night here

we watched a few episodes of Game of Thrones and Supernatural

I seriously can’t get over Khal Drogo

or Dean Winchester

or the guys who play them (Jason Momoa and Jensen Ackles)

Niina is cleaning my apartment

and I’m just here sitting and I’m all like

“okay”

insecurities

so many of them

so um you know that guy I’ve had a crush on for years?

I had a dream about him where he said that he’s interested in me

I turned him down and said “You had your chance for years”

I am pretty much over him, so that makes the dream even better

as you may know, I’ve been feeling super shitty for the last couple of days, crying and all

today, I went to see my mom

then I took this picture of Hessu

instead of crying from depression I started crying from laughter

I’ve been near tears the whole day

and now I finally broke down

maybe it’ll get better